I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
