Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
