I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
