Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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