I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
