I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
