The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
