Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
