Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
