I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
