the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
