all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
