He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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