That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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