I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
