so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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