You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
