using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
