If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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