Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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