i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
