I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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