we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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