she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
