I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
