I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
