My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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