Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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