I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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