First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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