I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
