Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
