How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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