It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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