i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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