At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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