ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
