Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
