It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
