She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
