Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
