spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
