if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
