Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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