She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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