Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
