I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Randomize
