Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
