That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
