i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
