I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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