so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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