I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
