she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
