I like to think it a success when the cops are called
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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