Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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