this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
