I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
