don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
