so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
