I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
