I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
